Families are such a cool thing to study! It is amazing how every family is so different. This week, one of my favorite things that was talked about in my class was a number of theories that explain different family phenomena.
I just wanted to talk a little bit about a theory that is called the exchange theory. Now personally this has been my favorite one to talk about. When you hear the word exchange you probably imagine some sort of trade going on between individuals. That is pretty much what is going on with the exchange theory. In relationships a lot of people view them as a “give and take” situation. Relationships should be equal in how they do things and there should be times where you give, or where others give. When people feel like they are giving more than they are receiving, in most cases that is when relationships tend to decrease in effort and it falls apart. That is sad to me, but it happens a lot. Something that has interested me a lot is divorce and the reasons behind why it happens so often. There are many reasons, but when it comes to terms of give and take I believe that as a couple or family, everyone should be moving towards one goal.
I am going to move into another theory of my own. It is one that helps me to believe that we can fix that separation or broken unity when one is not giving, or one is not recieving. I believe that that one goal that I mentioned earlier is something that can bring the unity back in a relationship. That goal that I am referring to is Jesus Christ. I just want you to take a second and think. Okay, picture a triangle. (If you would rather scroll down to see it, you can do that too) ;) With a marriage, you and your spouse are at the bottom on opposite sides and you are working up the triangle to Jesus Christ who is at the top point. (Now if you are not married and want to fix a relationship, think of a sibling, parent, or friend at the bottom of the triangle with you.) That is how a relationship should be. As you both come to Christ the distance between you and your partner gets smaller and smaller until you are all together with Christ. A lot of divorce unfortunately happens when couples aren’t working together in unity. Imagine if the wife is working on the relationship and the husband isn’t. That is NOT where the relationship should end! This is where it ends a lot of the time though. I think the most important thing to remember in a relationship is who you made the covenants and promises to. You make them to God and Jesus Christ. Our end goal is to reach the top of the triangle. To make it to our Savior.We need to want to become like Christ. As we strive to become more like Christ, the spouse that is struggling will be drawn to you because you are becoming more Christlike. Think of someone in your life who is like Christ. You want to be with them right!? Because they make you feel loved and accepted no matter what. Imagine having that in a relationship.
Now, I know that this is not the one soul purpose of divorce, and I know that sometimes there are other underlying problems in relationships, but I know that if YOU are trying to work your way to becoming more like Christ, you will see the results of your efforts and people will feel your efforts. You will be doing your part in the give and take relationship and you will be better for it because others will be able to see Christ more in you. :)
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